Heyyy… I’m in the of my exams. And I should be studying Physics right now, however, my mind simply refuses to understand how to calculate potential energy right now. Instead, my head is behaving like a old tape player and looping the same few broken line over over again. No, it’s not a verse from a song or something. It’s …stupid buses…. god my boobs hurt… bloodymodi…achhe din myass… maybe the kisans are getting water now but boobs are running the risk of falling off…..god help…save my booobs… i like my boobs… god that hurt….
No this is not, as commonly perceived, a sign of my evident insanity nor unfortunately a sign proving the mental side effects of Physics. It is a lament about the desperate condition of Indian roads. We have so much existing on our roads that they are a universe in it self. We have cows, pigs, dogs, cows, people, shops, slipper, garbage, homes, shit and more shit on our roads. We also have craters and pits of almost every known size depth and shape. All this and adding the traffic two billion people with almost two cars per family will provide, it is as yet a wonder why our government things we need speed breakers.
Now, Indian women (no offence to anyone) have bigger boobs than most of our western counterparts. And due to the heat we also lack the comfort (or discomfort) and support of wearing those thick, wired brassieres. In our frail, cotton bras it does become quite an effort to travel by bus. Our breast, which our men adore enough grant holidays for as well as to rape for with equal frequency, bounce up and down with every bump, crater and sudden breaks to save the life our gai matha (mother cow).
Honestly, I know you wont understand it, but when it happens it hurts . Like a lot. And no just because we can suffer the pains of child birth doesn’t mean this is a piece of cake.
So, this is my humble request to our Prime Minister Modi, please please repair the roads of India. This is heartfelt plea from half our nation, who though may seem submissive and demure, are essential to the growth of our country. Thank you.