Hi, I just got a new follower. And I have got them before. So it’s not such a big deal, right?
Growing up now it seems like everything you have is for display, waiting desperately for approval. It’s like the time you made a painting when you were five and you felt it was a master piece, but some how you couldn’t call it one, even to yourself, until your mother approved of it.
Just like that except you need the approval of the world, and your painting is literally who you are. It’s depressing. So much that I dont see my self any more. I control my words, my actions and even my thoughts. Editing ruthlessly to fit the perfect impression I want to make to the world.
I realized this when I saw the little orange dot next to the bell symbol and thought ‘look finally 40 followers, now I can actually tell my friends about my blog’.
I refuse to live like that.