I can’t sleep.

I’m so scared of everything. Most of the times I want to curl up in a ball under my blanket and cry, and if crying is not possible silently scream.

People don’t understand. They think I’m confused or stupid. I don’t understand.

I feel like Jupiter. My thought are constantly surrounded by mindless, nihilistic anarchy with just the tiny core trying to make sense. Trying remain orderly. Attempting to hold it all together.

I’m exhausted.

I’m so scared of life. Of the world. It seems easier to sink in to the unknown of death. Sometimes I wish I could sink my head in water and just stay there. Isolated from the world, feelings, people and life. I wish I didn’t always feel so lonely. I wish I didn’t need people.


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